*flowers and some words

We are having very gloomy days lately. The days start with a thick blanket of mist which stays for the whole day like you imagine the perfect halloween weather actually. But instead of gloominess I am showing you some bright flower overload today! There are still so many new cosmos flowers and zinnias coming that I postpone making those places in the garden beds ready for winter as they are comforting me every day, especially when they are glowing out from the otherwise nebulous surrounding! October went by in the wink of an eye and it was really my favorite month of the year so far, even though it was not less challenging in many ways. Since about a week now I am having a new lyme disease exacerbation, but I managed one time to bring my weary bones up to the hill before sunrise to be witness of the most beautiful moment of the day and I started to cry over the grandeur of our nature. I guess it was a mixture of many different emotions, all the pain and happy moments combined and I was a bit scared that I would not make it home as I felt so dizzy in my body, but there are worse things than dying on a hill in the early morning light. In such moments everything seems so clear. We are not really seeing what is truly in front of us, we only see through filters that we made over our lifetime. If those filters are lifting for a moment and we are stepping out of our routines and the "musts" and pressure we got imposed by others or ourselves, all the believes that are not serving us, all that remains is so simple, and at the same time so marvellous that you are only able to stay left behind in awe. If we only could keep this awareness throughout the day, but we tend to forget so quickly again when life is distracting us and see something that is actually not there. 

☙