*apple season

At the end of September we visited my fathers farm and it was amazing to see all the different apple trees again that he had cultivated there over the years. We picked a load full to bring home with us as our apple trees did not bear many this year. Lately I'm graving for pancake with roasted apples and cinnamon which is really warming up my body in a good way and it's oh so delicious! What is your comfort food at this time of the year? I also love sweet chestnuts and snacking on the walnuts I have collected on my walks some time ago. I hope you are enjoying this last day of October!

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*flowers and some words

We are having very gloomy days lately. The days start with a thick blanket of mist which stays for the whole day like you imagine the perfect halloween weather actually. But instead of gloominess I am showing you some bright flower overload today! There are still coming so many new cosmos flowers and zinnias that I postpone making those places in the garden beds ready for winter as they are comforting me every day, especially when they are glowing out from the otherwise nebulous surrounding! October went by in the wink of an eye and it was really my favorite month of the year so far, even though it was not less challenging in many ways. Since about a week now I am having a new lyme disease exacerbation again, but I managed one time to bring my weary bones up to the hill before sunrise to be witness of the most beautiful moment of the day and I started to cry over the grandeur of our nature. I guess it was a mixture of many different emotions, all the pain and happy moments combined and I was a bit scared that I would not make it home as I felt so dizzy in my body, but there are worse things than dying on a hill in the early morning light. In such moments everything seems so clear. We are not really seeing what is truly in front of us, we only see through filters that we made over our lifetime. If those filters are lifting for a moment and we are stepping out of our routines and the "musts" and pressure we got imposed by others or ourselves, all the believes that are not serving us, all that remains is so simple, and at the same time so marvellous that you are only able to stay left behind in awe. If we only could keep this awareness throughout the day, but we tend to forget so quickly again when life is distracting us and see something that is actually not there. 

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*the beauty of headpieces

Only recently Marie and I agreed that people hardly wear hats anymore and how it's actually a pity! I love all kinds of headpieces and how it gives the appearance a whole other look so easy and quick. Also it feel so cozy to wear a beanie or a bonnet in the colder season. Many rather suffer in the cold than wearing a hat, because they worry about ruining their hairstyle. Maybe I take this posting as an impulse to finally finish to crochet the beret that I had started last year with a very cozy wool!

What about you? Do you enjoy headwear? 

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*At home in my soul

{Music: Adrift in Aether – Joep Beving}

October started with beautiful misty mornings

that woke the feeling of finally coming home

to myself again after a long and stirring journey.

The whole year I felt like having no ground

under my feet, no matter what I tried.

No digging in earth could truly ease that feeling,

but the return of the mist and otherworldly atmosphere

finally spread a blanket of shelter and peace around my being.

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*little abandoned house in the woods

Last pictures from our little getaway. I could not resist taking another picture at the little abandoned house again that you probably know when you regularly visited my blog over the last years. Every time I say that I want to visit it once in winter time and it has not happened so far. I especially like the picture of the lake and how the heavy sky is reflecting in the water. 

Yesterday I worked with clay again and in the garden, collected seeds and it became quite chilly towards the evening. I also harvested some carrots to preserve them for winter. I cut them into little pieces and dried them. Never did that before, but I imagine that it will be very practical to add them to homemade soups in the cold season. I'm not a fan of freezing food for conserving, never was. So our little freezer is mostly almost empty and only sometimes filled with ice cream, fish and berries.

When I saw the frost when waking up in the morning, I quickly made a fire in the stove and left the house with my analogue camera to take some pictures of the frozen grasses and flowers. Rabbits and deers were close again and it felt so right in the stillness of the breaking dawn.

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*About shoes + a happy list

I could tell so many stressful things that have happened lately in a seemingly never ending row. The car accident of my bf, my family being sick, the health issues of Sunny, the "new" iMac that I had ordered from refurbed that did not function and I was trying to solve the issue for almost a month and had to give it back in the end, my digital camera stopped working again and I had to send it to repair for the second time now, so I can't take pictures for work nor can I work properly on my computer anymore. I wanted to have some finished ceramics before Christmas to put in my shop, but without being able to take pictures that won't really be possible. And then on top of all water comes through my winter boots that I had for over 5 years now. I think I am the woman with the fewest pairs of shoes that I know. I always had trouble to find fitting ones, so shoe purchase was never something that I enjoyed very much and so I usually am wearing the one fitting pair until it falls off from my feet on its own. When I was a child and we finally found a fitting pair of shoes, my mother used to buy a second pair in a bigger shoe size, so that we saved pains for finding a new pair after my feet grew bigger again. I often wonder if people notice it in my pictures that I have the same shoes like forever. After wearing the same pair all the time, parting feels even harder for me! Why I tell about the shoe thing actually is, because only short after my boots died, my dear friend Verena who knows about my lately troubles, surprised me with a sudden support where I could get myself a new pair and I was even able to get the last pair of the same shoe brand and it was even at a discount. I feel very grateful and hope they will keep me good company on my many nature walks in the future! So, this will be the first thing on my happy list, that I wanted to post here actually, but sometimes I feel like letting my readers know, that not all is just easy and happy all the time, even though those are generally the things I like to share the most, as there is too much bad news out there anyway, but to keep it honest and real.

Happy list:

• new winter boots from my dear friend Verena

{feel free to visit her blog to enjoy her art & stories}

• a little deer coming very close to me

• collecting nuts for winter

• first ripe figs from my own little fig tree

• beautiful misty mornings

• birds tapping on my window to signal that they want some bird seeds

• working with clay

• pepping up an ikea cupboard

• writing a letter

• a beautiful full moon

• a long walk on a warm, golden October day

• colorful leaves everywhere

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*crochet hat

After many fails of making a summer hat with a pattern, that just did not work out for me, I did not try a fifth time and just used a different pattern and luckily it worked out this time immediately. It's not the right season to wear it anymore, but maybe the coming spring!

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*Gentle September days

{Music: Drøm – Tankeflukt}

September went by far too quickly. I finished another crochet project, worked with clay again and dedicated my time especially to reading lots of book, as it seems just the perfect time for it. When the days are rainy and it starts to become more and more cozy inside and the air smells fresh and clear, then it is time to lit the first candles and welcome those moody autumn days.

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*black bird with a key

This bird was the first thing I painted after my long break. I did not bring it to paper, because I felt like painting so strongly, but because this image was sitting in my head for so long and it was good to let it go in this way. I have painted another picture since then, but still do not feel the inner motivation to paint again which is sometimes hard to accept. Art is something I can not truly force, if I do for a longer time, it only happens that I get blocked even more and longer. This bird has the key in contrary to me. Maybe he will show me the way someday.

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*Everything touched by mist | part 2

The overall atmosphere in this picture series is exactly what I was longing for after this summer. On the second last photo there is this glow around my body, especially around my head which came as a surprise. The tree on the last picture was gigantic! I don't know if you can see it, but there is a swing hanging from it. Imaging having this tree in your garden or near your home! This must be truly wonderful! Whenever I see such old tree souls I think of how much better our world would be if we had more trees like this all around us. I read that there was even a time when they cut down especially very old trees as they believed it would be something good to do, but later they found out how stupid it was. Healthy trees of several hundred of years age!

Yesterday in the early morning hours I was leaving the house again for making a long walk in the mist, this time the sun did not come out though and it was drizzling a bit. I saw several deers, they were very close and a curious little bird followed me along my way for some time. I did not meet a single human soul out there, they probably were still sleeping or enjoying their Saturday morning coffee.

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*Everything touched by mist | part 1

I can not repeat myself often enough, a truly magical time of the year has started and it inspires me much more than in summer to take my camera out, leave the house in the very early morning hours to play in the mist and to wait for the moment when the first sunbeams are starting to touch the trillions of dew drops that are glittering like little crystals on the wild grasses, flowers and spider webs. Sometimes the sun hangs like a moon in the misty sky over the dark conifer tree tops and the day seem never to really start. But today the sun came out and I was catching some moments with my camera. Those analogue pictures though have been from our little getaway, you might recognize the beautiful landscape already form my last movie. Some more will follow soon!

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*Into the mist we disappeared

{Music: I lied (Lord Huron cover) – Ocie Elliott}

At the beginning of September we broke out into the wilderness of northern Austria. The weather was very moody and it rained a lot – one day we woke up to this beautiful blanket of mist that kept me under a charm immediately and it was clear that a new time of the year has started.

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*home is where the flowers grow and your hands are busy

After a while you learn the subtle difference

Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,

And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning

And company doesn’t mean security.

And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts

And presents aren’t promises,

And you begin to accept your defeats

With your head up and your eyes open

With the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child,

And you learn to build all your roads on today

Because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans

And futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.

After a while you learn…

That even sunshine burns if you get too much.

So you plant your garden and decorate your own soul,

Instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.

And you learn that you really can endure…

That you really are strong

And you really do have worth…

And you learn and learn…

With every good-bye you learn.

{Jorge Luis Borges}

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